Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My version of Wordless Wednesday: Mommy Don't Play That.

Because there really are no words that sufficiently convey how shit full I am of my son's attitude lately.

Dear Son,
When I tell you to do your homework, this does not mean that my request is open for negotiation. When we go to Whole Foods to grab a quick bite before taekwondo, I do not think that it is unreasonable that I too be permitted to select dinner for myself without having to listen to you whine the entire time that you're starving and that I'm taking too long and this is sooooo boooring. I won't even get into last night's temper tantrum during dinner, because while you obviously could care less how this looks to other people, I'm embarrassed for you. I understand that you consider temper tantrums to be a viable approach to getting your own way, but in the immortal words of Homey D. Clown, "Mommy don't play that." I hope you like your bedroom, because I have the feeling you're going to be spending a lot of time there in the coming weeks, maybe even months. Your father and I understand that we have a legal obligation to provide you with food, water, and shelter. We are not however required to provide you with video games, lightsabers, or television. We suggest that you kindly bid these things adieu. That said, you have the opportunity to redeem yourself, and to one day be allowed to rejoin society if you are able to adhere to the rules set forth by the Responsibility Chart. Rule #1? Stop acting like a jack-ass. Love, Your Exasperated Mother.

30 comments:

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Ooooh, you tell him, girl!

I think I ma going to say that to my son today. And he will proceed to give me a really fug expression like I am the biggest loser on earth.

Where did our sweet boys go?

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Uhhh, yeah. I AM going to say Mommy Don't Play That.

Could my first message be any more cryptic? Sheesh.

Amie said...

EW, say it isn't so. Bear givin' you the 'tude? Tell him he needs to slow down. Teenagedom is long off. Hell, tweendom is long off. In the words of Morrissey, change and be nice.

Karena said...

I feel your pain! Entirely and completely and I am still wondering if it ever gets better. It has to....right??

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

As the mother of a teen and preteen, I know from attitude. Cut that off at the knees if you can. I obviously can't.

BigSis said...

OMG - that is EXACTLY what I'm going through with my 9 year old. I told him that I'm tired of doing the things I'm supposed to - like feeding him and going to work to make money so we have a place to live - when he doesn't do what he's supposed to. Where did you get the chart?

justsomethoughts... said...

i'm not sure that you have it right on the lightsaber issue

Susan Erickson said...

I remember it all so well. It does get better. My son is 26 and the last couple of years have been like night and day. It does take that long though. Growing up is hard to do. Raising them and surviving is even harder.

leigh said...

Have you been spending time in my home?

Sarah said...

Ugh. Not there yet with my little one. But not looking forward to it ultimately happening. Hang in there.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Ummmm....can a get a carbon copy of that letter for my family?

Maven said...

Oh how I have BEEN there!

Mommy don't play that. I love it!

Bathwater said...

And here I thought I was the only one that called his kid a jackass.

I don't get the temper tantrums, but apparently the ex does, which is her problem.

I installed a health fear at a young age, even if they grow bigger than me, I think they'll listen.

Amy said...

Oh, man. It's posts like this where I question my desire to have my kid start talking.

Although, he's already mastered whining...it's just in a language I don't understand.

Hope you get an attitude change by the weekend, hun:)

Erin said...

Hi there,

I wanted to say thank you for visiting & following me! I'm here to return the favor---I'm your newest follower.

My kids just turned 4, so we're not quite where you are yet, but I can live vicariously through you...

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

I think your son and mine are in cahoots. (Did I just say "in cahoots"? Dear God, how old AM I? Like 80??!?!?) Crap...it's the kids. They bring out the 80-year-old-crazy cat lady in me.

Alyssa said...

I LOVE that chart I NEED to get one asap for my daughter...please let me know where I can get one. It is not cheesy like the others I have seen! I so feel everything you are going through.

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Excellent. I can see myself being you in the future, minus the light-sabers, I'd imagine, although, w. my little one, you never know! LOVE IT!

ZenMom said...

Can I copy this and give it to my kids? Attitude overfloweth these parts.

Great post.

Maggie May said...

oh damn i hear you, bells hells.

Grateful Twin Mom said...

Okay, we're on the same wavelength. My son threw a giant temper tantrum in Target yesterday because I wouldn't buy him a Twinkie. A Twinkie?!!? Really? Seriously, gasping, red blotchy face. He was really putting it on. As I watched the smirky moms walk by me, I just said some words made immortal by the Madagascar Penguins, "just smile and wave, boys; just smile and wave."

Jules said...

haha so great. I am RIGHT there with you. Mine makes me want to pull my hair out while simultaneously bashing my head against the wall. And it sucks because I get so pissed off that it changes my mood for most of the day. It's so hard to snap out of it. It's seriously driving me nuts.

Kristin said...

Hang in there mama. Hopefully he takes pity on you and cuts you a break this weekend...little stinker!

blueviolet said...

I'm backing you up on this! They can be SUCH little rats sometimes!!!!

I hope he cuts you some mama slack, at least for a while, or the weekend, or something!!!!

Tracie said...

My oldest has major attitude these days. It is driving me insane.

MODG said...

is choking legal yet?

Good Enough Mom said...

yeah...my 5-year-old has already reached the sighing-eye-roll phase which includes sarcastic EMPHASIZING of words that make me sound STUPID (gee--I wonder where he got that particular gift?!?) And it gets MUCH WORSE on days when he gets up at 5:30am...like, say, today, for example...

Hang in there!

Denise said...

Bravo, bravo, bravo.

Theta Mom said...

So it won't get any easier for me, huh?

Erin said...

p.s. where did you get the chart from?