My favorite Christmas story. Ever.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted all week. Christmas is really screwing up my ability to effectively waste time blog. And there have been so many events over the past week that I so desperately wish to relay to you - including but not limited to our recent trip to a buffet and last night's Ice Cube concert. I realize that you are understandably on the edge of your seat. Pinkie swear, I'll post soon.

Until I do have time to write something that is worthy of the literary genius that is my blog, I'll leave you with this charming holiday tale, written by my friend Girl in the Room. It still makes me laugh after all these years, and it's probably my favorite Christmas story. Ever.

I think I've created a monster...

Please note both the scarf (Maggie's favorite, as it's very purple-y) and mini-Starbucks (which contains hot chocolate not coffee. I'm overindulgent, not insane).

This Is So Not Good For My Image

These are pictures from last week's "Gingerbread Performance" at Bear's school. Throughout the concert, Bear totally looked like he was thinking, "Could somebody please get this stupid-ass thing off of my head!" I guess it probably is hard to look like a pimp when you're wearing a homemade reindeer sweatshirt and a gingerbread man crown that you colored yourself with a bunch of other Kindergarteners. Nevertheless, he really was adorable and did an awesome job when it came time to deliver his lines.

The glazed-over expression in this photo suggests to me that Bear is trying to go to his "happy place."

Here he looks like he's thinking, "Alright lady, enough with the pictures! This is embarrassing enough - do you really need to create any more evidence of my humiliation?" Or, " I'm warning you, lady - one more picture and I'm gonna go all Sean Penn on you and your camera!"




Bear may not feel that his lines in the "Gingerbread Performance" were as cool as his free-style, kick-ass tae kwon do weapon form, but his father and I are just as proud. And when he's older (much older, I might add), I will exercise the parental privilege to annoy and humiliate by showing future girlfriends proof of his adorableness.

Arr! Merry Christmas!

Overheard: Miss enacting the events of Christmas morning with her "Little People" Santa.

Miss: Yo Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm Santa. Gimme yer presents!

Apparently in our household, Santa has morphed into some sort of pirate who, instead of peacefully sliding down chimneys to deliver gifts to good boys and girls, breaks into your house and demands your presents. A minute ago I heard the kids take out their Little People Train Set - perhaps Santa's about to perform a re-enactment of The Great Train Robbery. Maybe later I'll suggest that Santa and Mrs. Clause use the pink Little People Minivan to go all Bonnie and Clyde and pillage the Little People Main Street Village.