Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A post about the most romantic gift that I've ever received. And nipple cream is part of it.

In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought that I would share with you, Dear Readers, the most romantic gift that I have ever received. Perhaps you're wondering what an Existential Waitress considers to be a romantic gift? Flowers? Godiva chocolates? They're both fine and dandy, but no. Diamond earrings? Eh. Been there done that. A pearl necklace (not that kind, you pervs - and HELL no, by the way) and a surprise trip to Cancun? I'm really just not that much of a jewelry person. A Video iPod (back when they were all the rage) with an engraved message on the back? Close. You're getting warmer...

The most romantic gift that I've ever received is


a breast pump. For reals. I'm not kidding.



When my son was born, I was kinda flying by the seat of my pants (my standard M.O. I've reluctantly come to realize, as I fancy myself a planner), and pretty much had no clue about breastfeeding. Basically, I was a mess. We'd acquired all the basic baby gear by the time my son was born, but it had never even occurred to me that I might need a breast pump - that is, until the hubs came home with one and surprised me with it. Mind you, my husband is the kind of guy that plugs his ears and says "I can't hear you!" when I tell him that I have my PERIOD or that I'm MENSTRUATING, and is not the sort of chap that volunteers to buy tampons when he goes to the supermarket. So the gift of a breast pump really meant something to me.

To this day, I still feel all warm and fuzzy inside just imagining him perusing the breastfeeding section of Babies R Us, trying to find the perfect pump to surprise me with. He even purchased accessories like storage bags and nipple cream. It was just too cute and thoughtful. Jewelry and gadgets aside, this really IS in all seriousness what I consider to be my favorite gift of all time - call me crazy (because I know you want to). It's memories like this that remind that there is something redeeming about C when he's on my shit list for being an inconsiderate jack-ass. Later this week I'll post about the delicious dinner the hubs cooked for me on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm liking him more and more by the minute. (C may be many things, but he's definitely not dumb; he knows I'm less likely to kick him to the curb if he plies me with tasty fixin's).

Before I get ahead of myself though, perhaps I should give mention to the 24 Hour Rule (which is kinda like knocking on wood for good luck). Because that shit will come back to bite you in the ass. Every. Single. Time.

29 comments:

MiMi said...

Awww! That IS sweet. And those things are expensive too, so it's not like a cheapy thing.

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

Awww. Now if he refrained from making "moo" sounds while you were breastfeeding, the dude's totally a keeper in my book.

Tracie said...

The best thing my husband ever bought me was my hairdryer. I told him to buy it but he picked out a good one. It's the little things.....,

Jason said...

I'm still getting used to the idea of volunteering to buy tampons. How would that go? "Hey, want me to pick up some tampons for ya?" "Oh, do we need tampons or maxipads? I'll put it on the list." "I'll be home in a few. Do we need anything? Tampons? Pads?" Or the text "Nd tmpns?" I pray, pray, pray that your husband starts asking you that.

Also, a man thinking about boobs... Not so unusual.

Amie said...

That really IS a nice thing for C to have done. Big D would NEVER have done something like that. He is way too freakin' cheap. I am sure he has no idea how much I spent on my pump or we probably would have had an arguement about why I can't just hand express.

Existential Waitress said...

Jason, oddly enough I'm okay with purchasing my own tampons. As long as he keeps calling to ask if I need any ice cream or pepsi (YES, the answer is always YES!), I will continue to refrain from asking him to buy me sanitary napkins with wings.

And yes a conversation that goes something like, "hey, so how's it goin' with your tampons? Are you out of the Super Absorbant yet? Because I'm gonna hit Target later and I noticed there's a sale..." I guess I'd rather just keep the intimate details of menstrual cycle to myself - there is something to be said for maintaining a LITTLE mystery, right? Then again, maybe the MYSTERY went out the door when he saw me give birth twice.

Amber Page Writes said...

For that situation, it sounds like the perfect gift. Personally, i'd take the trip to Cancun, though...

Jason said...

I agree. I'll take the trip to Cancun. True story: we never heard from our old down stairs neighbors until Monica was pumping and the neighbor came upstairs to ask us to turn off the "strange mechanical sound." It was the pump of course.

Sarah said...

That melted my heart! What a nice story. Thank you for sharing!

Existential Waitress said...

LOL- they DO kind of make strange grinding noises, which at first makes you a little fearful about putting your boob in there.

A funny thing happened with my pump once when one of C's guy friends came over. I had some of the plastic parts drying on a towel by the sink and his friend picked one up and was all "hey, what's this?" To which I informed him, "that's part of my breast pump." He looked absolutely mortified as he quickly put the piece down and tried to act all cool about it.

Angie Muresan said...

He is a keeper to be sure. That's very sweet!

Andrea (ace1028) said...

That is the sweetest story ever. Seriously. I love it! He's a keeper (for now!) ;)

Bathwater said...

A breast pump, seriously? Why do they even have such a holiday again? Oh the romantic memoirs! Or should I say mammories?

I'm just saying that is something he should just get on a Thursday. But hey if it gets you all hot and bothered.

Candice said...

I had one of those hand held pieces of crap that took roughly half a day, and a bad case of carpal tunnel to produce 4 oz of liquid gold.

Maggie May said...

What a good husband!

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Even though I had a love-hate relationship (okay it was mostly hate) with my breastpump, your story is super cute! I agree. The idea of your hubby walking around Babies R Us and trying to figure out the breast pump selection is adorable. And amazing by the way. I could barely figure it out myself and I'm a girl, read a bunch of stuff about it, and had a friend write down on a piece of paper exactly what I was supposed to get. And I STILL managed to buy a bunch of random crap I didn't need and ended up with chaffed nipples because my nipple shields were too small. Who knew that someone could have EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA large nipples. The thought is essentially horrifying, esp. when it's yourself. Happy Valentine's Day.

Susan Erickson said...

A sensitive man is a wonderful thing...especially when they are thoughtful and caring. He's one of the good guys!

Amy said...

My husband sometimes takes my car and fills it up for me. It's not until I'm driving that I realize, "Aw...I have a full tank, thanks babe!"

Thoughtfullness is not always flowers and candy:)

Also? I'm cracking up over Jason's comment!

Therese said...

SO cute!! I horrified my father by demanding (I was uber engorged shortly after the birth of my daughter so yes, DEMANDED) that he stop to by a breast pump on his way over to visit his wee g-baby. He made that same strange, whining sound he made when I was 11 and got my first period and demanded that he go out and buy me my first stash of pads. Poor man.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

That IS the best gift!! Seriously! And I was in the same boat with my son and the breast pump was a godsend.

It ruined my ta-ta's but it made dearest son happy!

Erin said...

That really is thoughtful! And admirable. My hubs doesn't like buying me tampons, can't imagine he'd do this for me (he didn't have to, fortunatly, my mom got me my pump)!

Michael and Shelley said...

That's a great gift! So thoughtful of him. Especially since he gets uncomfortable with that kind of thing.

Ca88andra said...

What a thoughtful present! And something completely different too...

Denise said...

A fabulous gift, fer sure. I just got a new vacuum for Valentine's Day and I'm tickled pink because my old one sounded like a dying breast pump. (I used to think my pump sounded a bit like whales...)

The Only Girl said...

Really? And he didn't have any female help? No sister? Mother? Cousin? Wow. Colour me impressed.

Theta Mom said...

In this situation, I agree -perfect gift! On Mother's Day one year, my husband bought be a Dyson vacuum and I was so excited!Motherhood changes so much, doesn't it?

And thanks for the sweet words about my posts at Theta Mom. :)

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I love this! the best gifts are the ones with THOUGHT behind them

Alyssa said...

C sounds like a good guy and my hubby just got himself two steps closer to the curb (especially after reading this!)

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

this is the kind of gift that will not leave me heaving and skeeving b/c it deals with love of some sort

i can do breast pumps and nipple cream

thank you